All Roads Lead to Rome, Except When They Don’t

“That some achieve great success, is proof to all that others can achieve it as well.”

In life we all have these big & fancy plans to do well in life. If you don’t feel this way, then now’s the time to re-light that fire inside of you. Without it, not much is going to change in your life. Seriously… if you’re not excited about what’s possible in your life, then this is step one for you. Find or rekindle that fire that gets you jumping out of bed each morning.

It may not be big, it may not be fancy, but it has to be meaningful to you. Why else are you living your life, right?

Anyway… getting back to the real topic of my writing….

We have plans in our life to grow and improve. To be a better husband, wife, parent, boss, co-worker, friend, whatever. It could be to be a healthier, fitter, stronger person. Maybe a wealthier, more influential person. Maybe to be a better role model.

Whatever that thing is that you want to be better at… to grow and improve on, there is a certain path to get you from where you are currently at, to where you need to be.

Right now, I’m sure you on a path to improve something in your life. You may be following a specific plan or system that has been laid out by someone else. Maybe you have no plan and are just stumbling your way through life hoping things will just ‘fall into place’.

The truth is, in order to get certain things in life, it requires some planning, some form of systematic approach to get things done and action in those required steps.

HOWEVER… and here’s the catch that almost everyone falls into, is that there is no one system, plan or way of getting what you want. As much as we are being told and sold the idea that all we need is “This one program” or “This system of success”, the reality of it is that these systems and programs are nothing more than personal experience of the person developing them, or a collection of various sources of others’ successes.

I’m not saying that there is no value in following and buying into other peoples’ formulas for success. If anything, I would highly recommend it. Model people that you admire, that have the same values and morals as you and that are achieving what you want out of your own life. This is the shortest route to success.

What I am saying is that their story will never be your story. As much as you admire and look up to those that are coaching and mentoring you to reach success, you will never be where they are. Each of our lives are too complex to be able to replicate someone else’s success in any field.

The sooner you come to realize that, the easier your journey becomes. We can remove the stress of whether or not we measure up to those that have what we want. We can remove the failure mindset that holds us back and we can focus on the journey. On our own journey.

Yes, some of the steps and plans may be similar to others, but what happens inside of our head and the implementation of those steps and plans are very different.

I have spent much time modelling and following others in various parts of life, only to start to realize that sometimes it is not the actions that we see, that determine the success or not, but rather the thoughts and beliefs that come before those actions. The beliefs and thoughts of people that are successful are far more alike than the strategies, plans and tactics that vary so much between them.

Simple example. Is it better to do banting or low fat or calorie restriction or more cardio or heavy lifting or detoxing or blah, blah, blah…? If you look closely into any method of achieving weight loss, you will find that success is possible no matter which path you choose. There is no right way. There is only your way.

If you really want to know what people do to achieve success, don’t ask what they did, ask them why they did it. What beliefs did they have to change about themselves in order to do what they did. The stories that they tell themselves are what determine their success or not. The actions are merely automatic responses because of those stories.

Example 1: “I am a busy person. I have loads of things that need to be done. Running a business. Supporting and providing for my family. I have to wake up at ridiculous hours in the morning. Kids make it difficult to get a good night’s sleep. I get home and they moaning and complaining the whole time. I don’t get to eat well because I’m so busy. I have no energy for training and why should I, if I can get other important work done instead of that. It’s so easy for someone that’s single, doesn’t have all those responsibilities and all that. I could never do all that hard training and clean eating.”

Example 2: “Because I have a lot of things to do each day, I need to prepare and plan my time appropriately. I have to prioritize how I spend my time. Family and business is important, but if I don’t look after myself, then who is going to be able to look after them. Sure, it’s going to be a challenge to balance everything, but if I don’t make it work, then something will give. Whether it’s my finances, my relationship with my wife or even my kids. I don’t want them growing up remembering me as the father that didn’t have time to play with them or when he did, was just not active enough to do so. These things are just too important to me to neglect them. If other people in my situation are able to do it, then so can I.”

Same situation, but a different story that is being told.

What story or stories are you telling yourself?
(Question to ask yourself, but I would be more than open to hear and possibly help if needed).

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About The Author

Neil Scholtz

Neil Scholtz is a certified Personal Trainer turned CrossFit coach. He has competed at the CrossFit Games and coached athletes that have competed at the CrossFit Games, but that's not his main focus. Most of his time is spent consulting or coaching individuals to improve their lives through fitness. He has worked with over 1000 individuals from various walks of life. Tailoring solutions to their lifestyle needs.

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